


goodbye, my hopeless dream

by marvelleous



Series: saying goodbye is the hardest thing to do [2]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-12
Updated: 2017-02-12
Packaged: 2018-09-23 19:55:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9673694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marvelleous/pseuds/marvelleous
Summary: Phil finds Melinda in the simulation, and makes a different call.remix! of waking up is the hardest goodbye. you should probably read that one first, or else this will be confusing.





	

_ “None of this is real? Our.. our daughter? She’s not real?”  _

 

He can feel his own heart breaking at the look of devastation she gives him, like everything good in the world had been ripped away; and in a way, he supposed it had. It’s worse, so much worse than the way he’d seen her after Bahrain, so broken, so much hurt. He wanted to have her back, to keep her safe, but if it means doing this to her, shattering her reality, he’s not sure he can go through with it. 

 

Why shouldn’t she have this life that she’s always wanted, a life he always thought would be impossible for himself. Who is he to take it away from her, to force her to return to a life of constant fear and danger, where they can never truly rest. 

 

Why shouldn’t they be able to live out the rest of the days in happiness, after all they’ve already given to S.H.I.E.L.D., to the world. They’ve both lost so much, they’ve both died and come back, only to continue to put their lives on the line to save others. Isn’t it enough to give your life once? 

 

Melinda is crying, slumped back against the opposite wall, just shaking her head, willing to believe his words but unwilling to let go. 

 

He’d told her that once, to let the girl go. 

 

But this is a different life, a different girl. 

 

_ Their daughter. _

 

Phil cannot stand and just watch the woman he loves in pain. She looks like she wants to run, to curl away and hide from him, from the harsh reality of his words, but he just reaches for her, pulls her close and lets her cry, allows her to let it all out, her hands grasping fistfuls of his shirt, body shaking in his arms. 

 

“What if… what if it can be?”

 

Her voice is so small, so quiet, and she’s looking up at him, so much hope in her tear-filled eyes, expression almost pleading. He had come here with the intention of bringing her back, saving her, not to cause more pain, not to do this. He knew that he always took and never gave, but Melinda, god, she gave so much. She deserved this, deserved to have what she wanted, what she needed. 

 

And he… he wanted it too. He wanted to wake up beside her in the morning, have her be the first thing he sees when he opens his eyes each day. He wants to cook her breakfast, watch her do Tai Chi, brew her a mug of her favourite tea. He wants to kiss her, make love to her, lay down beside her; share this life with her. He wants to pour milk for their daughter, take her to school, read her bedtime stories at night. And here, here they can have it forever. No one can take it away from them.

 

They can finally be happy. 

 

“Maybe it can,” he tells her, and when her eyes light up, a small smile daring to form, he knows he’s said the right thing. Made the right choice. They can have this, this life together. One with no guns and bullets and monsters. One where they’re not constantly looking over their shoulders, waiting to be attacked. One where they don’t have to fight, day in and day out. 

 

“And you… what about you?”

 

Her hands are shaking, fingers trembling as she reaches up to touch his face, and he catches her wrist bringing her knuckles to his lips, brushing a kiss over her soft skin, letting his eyes fall shut for just a moment. 

 

“I want this.”

 

The smile she gives him is worth every second of pain he has endured in their other life, makes him think he can forgive himself for the things he’s done, the harm he’s caused. 

 

“I love you,” she tells him, before pulling him down for a kiss, this one slow. They take their time exploring each other, her fingers hooking into his belt, his hands tight around her waist. He never wants to let her go. She nips his lower lip, and he laughs, playfully reaching up and tugging at one of her curls in retaliation. 

 

They’re lost in the embrace of one another, focused on nothing else, until the the sound of someone clearing their throat forces them to reluctantly part. 

 

Peggy is standing there, hands on her hips, trying to get their attention and Phil cringes a little because now there are syrup stains in the shape of her little hands covering her pajamas. 

 

“Come on, Princess. Let’s get you cleaned up,” he says, taking one of her sticky hands in his. She gives him that same smile, looking at him like he’s her hero, and he knows that they’ve made the right choice. Melinda bends down and pulls Peggy up into her arms, paying no mind to the mess their little girl has managed to make. She leans into his side, and he wraps an arm around her waist, fingers curling around her hip, and together, they head off to Peggy’s bedroom. 

 

And for the first time in a long time, he looks forward to what may come next. 

 

 

* * *

 

 

It’s been four hours. 

 

Daisy knows that they can’t stay here for much longer; most of the team has already left, Simmons and Yoyo transporting the Director back to base to receive proper medical attention. Mack is sitting behind her, head in his arms, and she can hear the words he’s holding back for her sake. 

 

_ “They’re gone. They’re not coming back.” _

 

She doesn’t want them to be gone. They had already lost May for who knows how long and now Coulson’s gone too and all she can think about is the pain of watching her mother die at her father’s hand, how they’d had to wipe his memory. 

 

He had a new life now. 

 

And she thinks that Coulson and May do too. 

 

She doesn’t know where they are, what they’re seeing.

 

She hopes that wherever they are, it’s safe. That whatever they’re seeing, is beautiful. She hopes that they’ve found each other in there. 

  
She doesn’t believe in god, but she prays that they are happy. 


End file.
